Wee Scoops

Measure for Measure

Postaday 2011: Worst teacher – “I’m Pratley”

It was a shame for him. The first lesson, he came in, wrote “PRATLEY” on the board and announced: “I’m Pratley.” Not a great start.

He wore a blue suit (yes… just the one…) and it had four big army/safari style pockets on the front. He looked a bit like Jim Bowen from “Bullseye”.

It’s all a bit of a blur. I used to keep a tally of how many times he would say “Settle Down” in a lesson. It was usually well over 200.

We made up a song, to the tune of the teddy bears picnic, that gives a flavour of out time with him:

If you go down to the maths room today

You’re in for a big surprise Cos Prately’s there,

Without any hair

And he’s wearing a hundred inch flares.

He says be quiet, But we just riot

He says to us “work” But we shout at the berk

Today’s the day 1A have their maths period.

He has got a wrinkled face

He thinks that he is part of the human race

But we tell him he is not

And not to talk such a lot of rot

He has got four pockets

Enough room for four big rockets

And at quarter to four we run out the door

And fall on the floor

Because we’re tired of He-Pratley (and the powers of CHAIRLAND).

 

I do not remember learning much maths from Mr Pratley. Although I did quite well in the longer term, I suppose. However, I learned a few lessons that have proven useful in my teaching experience:

1. If you try something 200 times and it hasn’t worked, it’s not a good strategy. Try something else.

2. If someone throws a baseball boot at your head – react and deal with the assailant. If you pretend it didn’t happen, you look silly.

3. If people fire protractors out of the window, send them out to collect them. Don’t sit back and watch them then deplete the A4 paper supplies.

4. Vary the wardrobe.

 

We were horrible. A horrible class. And for that, Mr Pratley, should you ever google yourself in wordpress, I apologise.

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