Sanstorm’s Advent 17
Behind door seventeen… is a turkey.
Christmas is coming; the goose is getting fat, but hey, it needn’t worry because I’ve got a turkey on the menu. Gobble gobble.
I was worried I’d be too late to order one from the butcher – but I went past the butcher on my way to the Chinese Carry-out last night and it still has the “Time to Order for Christmas” banner up – advertising turkeys, geese and capons. Whatever I capon is I do not know. I assume its is like a jumped up chicken or something worth roasting. So I must get round there and order up my turkey-for-eleven. But not a capon. They never even did capons on Masterchef. Just pigeons and guineafowl.
Turkey. All I can think of is Bernard Matthews. And nuggets.
And the fear of not cooking it properly. So I will. I’ll overcook it, if anthing.
Man, my sentence structure is a bit deconstructed these days. It is annoying even me. Although it’s not as annoying as when people use a series of one-word minor sentences for emphasis. It. Does. My. Head. In.
ANYWAY: turkeys.
I do my turkey according to Delia Smith’s Cookery Course book. There’s a lot of butter and bacon involved. Then I roast it until it totally disintegrates and any notional salmonella are roasted beyond recovery. It is a dull meat, right enough, but I’ll be sure to have enough accompaniments to jazz up the plate a bit.
Maybe I could do a Masterchef style deconstructed turkey dinner – and just make a kind of standing stone out of turkey nuggets, and dribble gravy in a whizzy circle around it.
Or. Perhaps. Not.
Wee Scoops 
Turkey is tricky, here on Thanksgiving day there is toll free number to call if you have any questions about the state your turkey is in, on the most American of holidays. I’ve never called it but they say that millions do every year. I use Martha Stewarts recipe which is, in her own words, How to roast a perfect turkey. I have to say despite my conflicted feelings towards her, her recipe has never let me down. You are absolutely right on the money about the side dishes, those are they best part. I don’t know what I’m having for Christmas dinner because this year I’m not the chef, I will however be acting as the sous chef for my mother, so there will be cooking involved, I just don’t know what I’ll be cooking yet. Surprise for me!
🙂
My dad used to cook a capon on Christmas day every year. Its the kind of thing that you get if a turkey would be far too big, but a regular chicken too small. Tasty, as I recall.
And as for the string. Of. Sentences. With. Only. One. Word. For. Emphasis. No wonder you don’t get on with Rob Bell books – he does that. On. Every. Page!
*tries to think of a capon pun* … *wonders whether that would make it a ca’pun’*
Here you go: A capon is a rooster that has lost its baggage, making it larger and more tender than it would have been. Bet you can make a ca’pun out of that! 🙂