Plotting my hair trajectory
I need to make a policy decision on my hair: go grey gradually or dye my way to a delusional future?
It would be easier to make the decision, I feel, if I reflected on my past hair-related decisions and extrapolate from the data the likely outcomb of my current musings. In addition, I will of course scour the scriptures for guidance.
My hair grows out of my head. It keeps doing it; it is long. It is also brown and straight. That’s how my hair is, generally. Sometimes I get it cut.
In 1997 I got it cut from long to short; some people didn’t think I was the same person. Then it grew again. About six years ago I got it bobbed and I turned into Velma Dinkley: this was an ill-thought-through haircut; it did solve my Hallowe’en problems that year though.
As for the colour thing, I used to get vague, half-hearted highlights. Then I realized that my hair was in fact a colour, not going grey, so I could be saving myself a fortune by simply just… not getting vague half-hearted highlights.
So, that’s the status. Long brown hair. Seldom-to-never professionally maintained. In the last three years I have been out to a posh thing twice and had it “done”. It has been great/worth having the length.
For the rest of the time my hair is in a ponytail, or down. If I am trying to look like a functioning person, I straighten it. It “needs” about six inches of split ends cut off.
But, to my point, my split end, as it were: the whole “going grey” thing is a thing.
Now, grey hair is not a problem. It’s the ‘going’ part that is the issue.
When I last had my hair “done” for the posh thing, there were very, very few lone greys spiraling out from the hairdo looking as if they belonged to someone else. There was a momentary compulsion to snip or pluck, but then I thought… meh… and skipped off to the ball feeling perfectly justified in the grey to brown ratio, given that I am 44.
But what of the future? Do I continue to think, hey, my grey to brown ratio is just fine, while unbeknownst to me I look like a salt’n’peppa actual witch? With the tooth gap still going on (my adventures into orthodonistry as a concept have likewise stalled) and the split ends and the natural ‘silver’ highlights, I could degenerate into even more of a fright than is strictly necessary…
People my age are “meant” to come to the realization that they can’t “get away with” long hair. (They risk turning into a ‘kronenbourg’ (the beer… you look 16 from the back and 64 from the front.)) For me it’s not so much that I am trying to get away with it. It just grows. It’s just like that. If it were to be any other way than it is, it would be against nature. Literally.
Of course maybe I should get a little help with it. I think people generally get their hair dealt with pretty regularly. But when? When do people get their hair cut? People say “get someone to come to the house” – but when? I’m never in. I’m out, doing something other than getting my hair done. If I had time to get my hair done, I would be thinking Yass – a free morning! – and then go out running or shopping or visiting or facilitating my children’s lives or not sitting in the hairdresser being asked “are you going out tonight?” while thinking “eh… of course, but, like, I am out running in the rain or at a churchy thing, I am not doing anything that involves having tidy hair or nice clothes or context-free socializing…”
I have a hairdresser I would go to if I ever went. I do mean to call her. But there’s the full diary and the phonephobia working against me. I can’t see it happening.
Anyway… back to the whole, “should I start dying my hair to cover the grey?” question…
It isn’t going to happen, is it? I won’t get pink dips or blonde streaks or strategic natural browns. I’ll go grey, hair by hair until I have grey hair.
And then I turn to the bible, which of course I should have done first:
“Grey hair is a crown of splendour;
it is attained in the way of righteousness.”
Proverbs 16 vs 31
Okay, so maybe I am okay with my natural colour, but reading over this post , it sounds as if I need to go and get it tidied up a bit.
*stops self from reaching for scissors*