Plumb Broke #fail #plumbing
I thought that there was “light at the end of the pipe”, but that little flush of success was short lived. The patch up solutions soon gave way and we were back to a thoroughly unsatisfactory patchwork of elements of a satisfactory bathroom experience.
A few days after the plumber left, the “downstairs” started vigorously spraying water, on occasion. It seemed to be coming from the waste pipe, as if the toilet was jet-propelled, sort of. As daughter #2 put it: “Sometimes, when you flush it, it floods.” So we had a kind of exciting Russian Roulette phase until we thought better of it and closed the door on the downstairs and locked it from the outside. The upstairs was sort of working fine/back to “normal”.
Then the plumber came for real. It was great. Lost of removing of bath panels, props, gadgets, deconstruction of cisterns, listening through walls, water on, water off…
The weird thing was that the plumber successfully flushed the Russian Roulette toilet about twenty times and not a dicky bird. Much stratching of head and discussions in Plumberese. It was flushing away, innocent as you like. Not a vigorous explosive spray of any sort.
So we decided it was fixed.
Then the next person to actually “go” to the toilet…. Bang! Flood!
Very exciting. The plumber got to see it in action. He was too late into the room to do the actual diagnostics, so we set about trying make it do it again. Flush, flush, flush…
Eventually, some time later, he was in the garden listening down a drain and I got it to do its thing and this time he caught it and diagnosed it instantly and then spent a great deal of time taking the toilet to bits.
So, he left. And I was basking in the afterglow of the festival of plumbing for days and days: the shower actually draining; two toilets flushing. One and a half sinks actually working. It was like… a house in which the plumbing worked.
Then today, I went to the toilet.
I flushed the toilet.
As I pressed down, the flush button thing fell entirely and directly through the hole into the cistern and disappeared from view.
So, just as well he fixed the Russian Roulette toilet, then.
I am now giving my children a wee tutorial on how to flush the toilet using the remnants of the flush mechanism that are now hanging out of the cistern.
One day, it’ll be great. I’ll be able to have visitors and stuff.