Flashback to Blog Number 1, like, ever.
MySpace, in their wisdom, deleted my first ever blog.
Last night I was reminded of my first ever post.
Last night I was in bed early and was later awakened by Husband who had come in from football with an injury, looking for me to complete all kinds of annoying tasks: putting off the TV, fixing the fridge ice maker thing, sourcing him some ibuprofen, fashioning a plinth on which to raise and cool his ankle overnight.
Annoying, but at least we didn’t have to go to A and E.
This was almost exactly what happened eight and a half years ago. But then, it was a lot more annoying.
Eight and a half years ago, I had had a terrible day.
I had been having a spat with a curtain alteration shop for WEEKS and it had come to a head that day. The curtain story is a story in itself; suffice to say I resented every penny of the £96 I had paid as a ransom for the late, late, shoddily altered curtains that were released into my custody.
That night I settled down to watch a movie. It was great. I can’t remember the title, but it was about a guy on death row.
Just as the whole ‘needle’ thing was crescendoing to a height, I heard Husband returning. I thought to myself, “See if he bumbles on in here and ruins the end of this movie, I’ll be dead annoyed.”
He calls from the bottom of the stairs where he has an ankle the size of a melon and no capacity to bear weight. I manfully assist him up to his bed, jack up the pillows at the foot end and thought, well hey I’ll watch the end of the movie another day. And so to bed.
Three hours later a scuffle and a rumble and a slamming and voices in the hallway. Burglars!
I look to Husband to leap up and batter the intruders with a shillelagh and think, er, um, he can’t walk. So I leap up and run out onto the landing thinking, eh, like, what am I going to do?
Luckily the scallywags had bolted – but not before stealing my purple handbag and my car keys.
So, we call the police and I was never more glad to be wearing, for once, actual matching pyjamas. The cops came and advised us to deflate the tyres on the car so the bandits couldn’t come back and get it.
While we were standing there in the garden discussing the car there was a shattering of glass from a nearby garden. The cops took off, homing in on the din – only to arrive back to us a few minutes later giggling. Someone had woken up in the night and remembered that they hadn’t fed their rabbit. They had got up in the night and gone to feed it and knocked something over in their garage.
The good thing was that the burglars took my cheque book, the most recent cheque stub displaying the £96 to the curtain shop.
It gave me great pleasure to phone them up the next day to inform them that the cheque would be stopped as a result of the robbery…. tee hee…
The handbag appeared in a garden a couple of miles away. Never saw the wallet again.
Husband’s ankle recovered and he remained injury free until yesterday.
The curtain shop thing dragged on until I got threatened with court….
… and so that 24 hours was the basis of my first ever post. This was the short version.