Well, that’s the gravy sooked aff the steak
Hogmanay was spent buying a daft amount of Tunnock’s Tea Cakes and dicing cheddar as well as exchanging my Tesco kilt for one of a less optimistic size. We had a wee ceilidh at which I provided the purvey: Jelly babies, jelly beans, chocolate buttons, kettle chips, doritos, oatcakes and brie, cheddar and Wensleydale-with-cranberries-and-white-chocolate, tablet, Tunnock’s Tea Cakes and Snowballs and the toxic waste that is fizzy juice and then tea and coffee. Health, health, health.
The biggest fail of the night was my blinking Twinings tea bags. I gaily swung out a handful of tea bags to put in the enormous tea pot, to find that not one of them was fully closed, so I sprayed myself and the surface with hunners of tea leaves. I opened my other packet of Twinings tea bags and put them into the tea pot, only to find that, once the water had been added, they too were faulty and the tea was a fail. Fail Fail Fail. Never mind. We sourced some alternative tea bags and away we went. But not quite the Twinings Everyday cup for which I had been hoping.
We had a traditional Ne’er Day too. Steak pie as a late lunch. And another childhood moment being played out: when your child realises that the lump of steak they have been working on for some time may always be with them. Then they wonder what will happen, given that it can’t really be got rid of it in a polite manner. And the relief at the moment when you suggest they go and spit it into the bin on the grounds that it is too chuch.
I haven’t slept this much in ten years.