Wee Scoops

Measure for Measure

“Mum, how did having children change your life?”

After a profound numbness – dazzled as I was as to the complexities involved in responding to such a question – lasting a couple of hours, I managed to cast my mind back…

One idea playing in my mind in those early days of motherhood, was a sense that I’d given my life away to the child – and I wanted it back. And this verse came to me:

You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies.”

I Corinthians 6 vs 19-20

I had lived for years as a Christian, thinking that I had given my life up, for God to use it as he saw fit. It was only when I had a baby that I realized just how much of my life I had held back for me – I had been kidding myself. I was thoroughly selfish.

I can remember lying in semi-darkness, recovering from the delivery, thinking, “I didn’t necessarily need to have done that,” and seeing Robert Frost’s ‘road not taken’ shooting away into a parallel life that I didn’t have.

That was when I realized that my life hadn’t changed; this was my life, and the infinite amount of other lives down other roads not taken would never be lived – by me or anyone else.

So, how did things change? I was forced to shunt myself sideways into the backstage of life’s theatre, realizing that only one version of the play is live. And this is it:

“What good amid these, O me, O life?

         Answer.

That you are here – that life exists, and identity;

That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.”

(Walt Whitman, from “Leaves of Grass”)

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7 thoughts on ““Mum, how did having children change your life?”

  1. I never felt that. I never had any maternal urges until I suddenly wanted a baby at 25, when all I could see was babies everywhere. Once I had one, I knew it was the job for me. I’m not a great cook or housewife but I am a good mother; and I feel blessed to have found the right calling for me. Being a mother doesn’t necessarily make a woman happy (my own mother is a case in point), but it did me; I never once regretted giving up work and a career to have my boys. It was right for me.

  2. My two asked me the same question. I am happy being their mother and I don’t ever want to imagine my life without them. They liked my answer. 🙂

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