Wee Scoops

Measure for Measure

So, I survived the @toughmudder #TMScotland …


It was very much like the day I was going in to be induced with baby#3: well-wishers posting encouraging notes on the facebook; worries about human frailty and indeed mortality; getting up at the crack of dawn to have a hearty breakfast in the anticipation of a day of physical extreme.

But, I figured, this time it couldn’t be as bad as childbirth. Not a chance. (And it wasn’t. Nowhere near.)

And despite the hazards I was anticipating, I was actually most worried about getting the permanent ink off my forehead (…while hoping that that wasn’t the equivalent fear of what every first time mother worries about happening while in labour – but, by the time that does or doesn’t happen that is very much the least of your worries…)

Despite getting lost in Dalkeith and my driver having intermittent shrieking and adrenalin surges, we made it in one piece and in good time.

And so, to the main event:

Hoo-rah, Hoo-rah, No-Quitting –

Running running –

“Kiss of Mud” – crawling low under barbed wire belt buckle to ground – nae bother –

running running

“Arctic Enema” –perched on the edge of a skip filled with ice and water, slip forward into the ice, “swim” forward to a board blocking my way, arm under, nose hold, down into the ice and through, and splutter and grabbing out and finding a foothold and up and up and out and YES –

running running –

“Dirty Ballerina” – run and JUMP and run and JUMP and run and JUMP and run and JUMP and run and JUMP and manage not to fall in and break one’s legs –

running running –

“Human Gecko” – thanks for the boost up onto the climbing wall kind stranger, traversing sideyways with climbing hand and footholds, feeling upper-body-strength training coming into play – very fun, very satisfying –

running running –

“Glory Blades” – team work, easy, up and over, up and over, easy –

running running

“Funky Monkey” – lame attempt – no way was that going to happen – decided to fail rather than fall in. Enjoyed laughing at dramatic fail by teammate into the water –

running running

“Walk the Plank” – eh no thanks – glad to see the bypass for duff swimmers – brushing off the criticism from the steward who figured I should have a go. Like, eh, no.

running, running

“Boa Constrictor” – really fun, surprisingly – crawling down a tube into water, through the water, then crawling up a tube out of the water, with the helping hand of a fellow mudder at the other end –

running running

“Mud Mile” – eh, a mile in whose language? – very fun but too too short –

running running

“Hero Walls” – broke into a sprint to catch the faster team members and got a leg up and over up and over the high high walls – glad of my internet research advice to lower oneself gently, hang and drop, so as to avoid breaking ones femurs –

running running

“Trench Warfare” – not long enough, not muddy enough, not claustrophic enough. Managed to speed/lope along using a modified bear crawl and up and out –

running running

“Hero Carry” – hello random stranger (Shane), yes you may carry me for this section, thankyou  –

running running

“Hold Your Wood” – log on shoulder, walk walk walk –

running running

and running and running –

“Cage Crawl” – lying backwards floating on water with a cage above your face as you claw your way backwards, as the space for breathing becomes more and more limited – eek – scary biscuits  – and then up and out – phew –

running running –

and running and running  –

“Electric Eel” – sprint, dive, slide then crawl  – at speed, successfully avoiding the 10,000 volts kindly offered – chuckle at team mates zapped on butt and hip –

running and running

“Island Hopping” – made it onto first of six or seven floating squares across the river – then epic fail into the river for a wee swim across –

“Everest” – sprint up an enormous ramp, and skite elegantly back to start, ready to face the sprint again. This time, a little faster, a little higher – grabbing the outstretched arm of a fellow mudder – grasping grasping, feet going like a hamster on a slippery wheel – another mudder grabs my other hand – hold on hold on – get your arm over – then both, then a leg, then I’m up – phew!

running up running up

“Electroshock Therapy” – a quick sprint through a muddy electric field – again, I missed out on getting zapped.

and finish!

– presented with glorious orange headband, pint of strongbow and a wee seat in the sun.


The things people do for a decent profile pic on the facebook…


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8 thoughts on “So, I survived the @toughmudder #TMScotland …

  1. Impressed. Very impressed. Want an orange headband too, but worry all that running would be too much of a challenge. Well done!

    • Thanks 🙂
      The running was certainly a challenge. It was 11 miles all in – and over every kind of terrain. I had only ever run 8 miles before, so it was really tough.

  2. Cathy Baker on said:

    Eloquently put! Still buzzing!!!

  3. Y’know, having read your description of it and seen misc pictures of it from you and others, the bit that I would dread the most of the whole thing is the ‘running running’ in between the interesting, sadistic and muddy bits.

    Then again, I am reasonably unfit and flabby with a dodgy knee, so there’s no way I could even contemplate this… maybe I should take a year off…?

    • Aye. Take a year off. And you are dead right – there is far too much running in the event. it would be a lot funner with half the running and twice the obstacles. But it would be less of a challenge. The running was definitely the hardest bit. Apart from the bits that were too hard for me. So that makes no sense.

  4. You my dear are my hero, there is no way that I could have done this even on my best day somewhere in the years past. Your muscles are awesome and your spirit is even more awesome. 🙂

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