…in which I make a rookie mistake with the contacts and have a blinder of a 10k!
So, I came in from a hen night where I had drunk a whole bottle of Shloer to myself, after previously dehydrating myself with a Pizza Hut box of chicken wings and a duo of fat and salty pizzas.
I flushed my disposable lenses down the loo, wiped off my eye make-up, got into bed and went to sleep.
I woke up with the thrill of race day in my gut. Or was that the pizza?… and my eyes felt a bit gunky. Bleary eyed I got up and ambled to the bathroom, thinking, “Rats, I’ve got conjunctivitis on the very day I could do without a trip to the pharmacy to get chloramphenicol”… I gave my face a wee wash and things looked a bit clearer…. too clear… almost… in focus? Was this a miracle of some sort? No – I had left my lenses in ALL NIGHT. Bu-wha-bu-wha? I had taken them out, surely? I could even remember!
Faced with my face in focus I had to accept: I am a numpty and had managed to weld my lenses to my corneas.
Suddenly visualizing a trip to A and E scuppering the race, I began feverishly googling what to do, how to get them out, whether I should even try, what would happen…? I filled myself a bowl of water and blinked and blinked like a fish, thinking Doh! Doh! Doh! And resolving to have to run in specs (assuming I could bypass the whole hospital thing).
What an eejit.
What a numpty.
I ate my pre-race ready-brek and considered my options. My hydration of my face seemed to have softened them up a bit, so I kept my eyes peeled…
So, I flushed my disposable lenses down the toilet and hoped that I really had this time.
Then I got new ones, and put them in – I wouldn’t have on any other day – but it was race day and it sure wasn’t looking what you could call “Dry”.
As for the race –it was well organized and efficient and damp and cold. The advice was to get to 5k and then crank up the speed, so I thought I’d give that a go. The first k is always the worst as your body suddenly figures out what you are about to do to it and it puts the anchors on. After a couple of k it gets into the swing of it.
Because of my innumeracy I forewent the whole “watch” idea, and figured I’d wait until I could see a clock tower at the 5k mark – and I was just before the half hour (28:29 I later see) and so that was perfect for the hour target.
We took the turn into the park and it’s a bit less flat there – but getting up the two inclines takes your mind off the distance, so that was good – then there’s the moment when it’s going to be downhill until the flat last k.
Now, in the park I found myself being overtaken by a pace marker person holding a “Follow me for 55 mins” placard. I kept her in my sights, but her and her followers eventually got away into the distance.
Then another placard appeared from behind me and I thought “Oh, no, it’s the ‘Hour’ person about to overtake me and dash my whole ‘Hour’ plan”, but it was another 55 minute person.
And then another.
And then another.
So, by the time I got out the park, I figured that all the 55 minute people were ahead of me, but that the hour people might still all be behind me. I never noticed the 9k mark because the piper had moved away from the flag to shelter in a bus stop – but that was good as the race was suddenly shorter than I thought.
So I turned the corner and saw the time was at 57 and then I started doing my gazelle springs and poses and forgot to pay attention to the time when I eventually went under the banner thing, but figured it would be 57 or 58 minutes.
So I got in the end 57 minutes 26 seconds – three seconds short of a ten minute improvement since last year, so I am dead pleased. No need to sue. Funny that – the training works. No rocket science required.
So, for the afternoon I donned my shapeless and unattractive finishers’ T-shirt and went out for a celebration lunch. Hurray! (Wearing my Velma specs…)
So that was really stupid about the lenses.
Never mind. I appear to be okay eye-wise now.