Wee Scoops

Measure for Measure

Love, Money and Gravy Boats

So, that’s Christmas over with – or so I keep thinking. Every time I shift another Christmas present onto its owner I think: it is finished – and then I find another one.

My last Christmas present that I need to give to someone I have unwrapped and started using. It is a present the recipient chose herself. It is a vase with fake water and fake flowers. It was the very dickens to wrap. It was looking like an unsightly disaster with its crumpled snowman paper. Now it is gloriously unwrapped, it is on my hearth thingmy looking lovely, if a little artificial.

One day she’ll come by, like one of Bagpuss’s customers and claim it.

Anyway.  To get onto the gravy boat thing.

I knew my friend wanted a gravy boat. Brilliant, I thought. Gravy boat. Easy.  And what a good idea! Who wouldn’t want a gravy boat? I decided I would buy two funky and lovely gravy boats for two funky and lovely friends – then they could make lovely and funky sauces and serve them with style!


Before all you geekmeisters come out saying “Doh! Easy! Order online”. Forget it. Ordering online is alright for cheap books (“Get a kindle” I hear them cry) or knee high orange socks (“Get a life” I hear them cry) but for quality china products? I don’t think so.

And anyway… surely all I had to do was go into any shop anywhere and say, “Can I have two different but equally fabulous gravy boats please?” and they would show me an array of JOY.

So, first attempt.

I was strolling along beside some wee shops and, as I expected, there, in pride of place was a gravy boat! It had a little stand with a space for a tea light – but it was plain white. Not very funky. And the shop was shut.

Another day I went to a garden centre (okay so you wouldn’t necessarily think there’d be gravy boats but that’s the kind of stuff you get in garden centres in this neck o the woods) and … there was a gravy boat. Plain white. Garr…

So another day I set out with purpose and cash. A single purchase mission. Two birds. Two tasteful stones.

Off to Debenhams.

Went in. found the Denby section. No gravy boats.

“Have you got any gravy boats?”

“No. We don’t do gravy boats.”

Marks and Spencers.

No gravy boats.


No gravy boats.

TK Max.

Anything else you could possible want in the known universe at a competitive price. No gravy boats.


No gravy boats.

Beginning to panic. What else could I get besides a duo of gravy boats? Such a great gift idea. Tricky to trump that, I’d say.

Odd, though. All the shop assistants gave me a flat “no”. Some even had a roll of the eyes and used phrases like “out of fashion”… Eh… whit? Gravy isnae out of fashion! Certainly not at Christmas time when, like, EVERYONE has gravy. They also didn’t know what I meant until I rephrased into retail parlance “Sauce Boat”. They suggested buying little jugs with spoons.

If I’d wanted jugs with spoons I wouldn’t have asked for gravy boats.

Who knew they were so retro?

So, I turned my back on that particular mall and headed for the failsafe John Lewis.

No gravy boats.

NEXT home.

No gravy boats.

Cath Kidston…

I saw the store front and began to get excited. Cutesy, kitsch, floral, funky, retro but uber fab…… surely?…. surely?….

No gravy boats.

House of Fraser.

No gravy boats.

Princes Square…

Maybe Illuminati would have a wee exclusive range? Was there not a good cookshop there? Surely some nice wee designer shop would have some lovely retro funktastic gravy boats for sale – I mean, there’s a market! I am it.

The unseasonally warm day was beginning to get to me as I threaded my way, rabbitesque from one potential gravy boat vendor to another. No joy. Not even white ones now.

A bigger, better-stocked TK Max.

No gravy boats.

Another Debenhams….

In I go.



Gravy boats.

“I’ll take two.”

Nearly hugged the little shop assistant who could barely understand my garbled thanks for stocking the one thing I was looking for. They added that people often come there for gravy boats as no one else does them. Cruet sets are also hard to come by, he assured me.

Good to know.

Then they did that MENTAL Debenhams thing where you see the price, think “fine” then you take it to the checkout and…. They say it’s far cheaper than you were going to pay. Every time.


They are totally missing a trick.

So, lovely friends now have lovely gravy boats for lovely sauces.

Now they can bestow bisto at will.

(Thanks to my mother for that pun. She wants to get on with writing the war memoir and is having to wait til this is done).

monsoon cosmic




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23 thoughts on “Love, Money and Gravy Boats

  1. Scotstig on said:

    Mmmmmmm………………. Bisto!

  2. Who would have thought that the gravy boat would have made it onto the endangered species list. I think that I have a gravy boat from my wedding china, I know that my mother has one. Everyone needs a gravy boat, how else do you serve the sauces at the fancy holiday dinners? Silly retailers!

  3. Scotstig on said:

    Are gravy boats not dispatched to stop meatballs from drowning?!

  4. As I started reading about your search for gravy boats, an image sprang into my mind… Sainsbury’s, yesterday – LOADS of gravy boats on the shelf beside the gravy mixes and stuffing mixes etc. I remember thinking it was an odd thing for Sainsbury’s to be selling!

  5. What colour gravy boats did you buy?

  6. Pretty! They are lovely. I hope your friends appreciate them.

  7. I’ve never seen a gravy boat for sale around here, but I got mine from my mom’s attic during her estate sale. It is not altogether white, having a broad, forest-green stripe running around it, but it is still rather plain. I should be thankful, eh? 🙂

  8. I can report that the ‘Monsoon Comic’ gravy boat was well used (again) last night. It is the gift that keeps on giving.

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