Watching the Tennis
I tried to watch “Today at Wimbledon” today. It’s nice to get into a tournament once in a while. I have failed with the Euros so thought I would give Wimbledon a go. I banned myself from my iphone and settled down to watch.
After immediately realising I was cooried up in front of a smudged screen, I began to clean the TV screen and surround, removing children’s finger prints that were obscuring the action. I then realised that the screen was only half of the battle. I got my squeegee and some soapy water and cleaned the windows, whose equally prominent fingerprints were appearing as shadows on the screen.
Still unable to see the match, I set about blocking out the sun that was making the match invisible. I went to get a big bit of paper and some sellotape. They weren’t instantly findable, so I gave up and balanced a medium sized piece of paper behind a coke can that then fell down… but eventually I got the paper wedged behind enough things so I could see 70% of the screen.
Not sure what happened “Today at Wimbledon”, apart from Venus Williams is out and Britain’s hopes are salivating over Andy Murray.
Maybe I should just stick to the eating-the-strawberries part of Wimbledon and visualising myself becoming the next great British sporting hope.
…*imagines the home straight of the marathon at the Olympics 2016: “…and here comes “The Whippet”, never a leaner athlete ever came from Glasgow, and here she comes, oh, she is just a blur of muscle and speed…”*…