Wee Scoops

Measure for Measure

Postaday 2011: Toastie

In three years I lived in three different flats. Each year, the toaster went on fire.

Year One: I had got up early one day to drive to the frozen north through the snow. It was not yet even the crack of dawn and I was trying to be economical with time. So I put the toast in the toaster and then went for a shower and the toaster went on fire when I was in the shower. (Can’t remember anything else. But someone with a good sense of smell must have dealt with it.)

Year Two: a poster on the kitchen wall above the toaster caught fire. It was A-ha, so, lookin’ pretty hot to begin with…

Year Three: one flatmate was in the shower and I was in the kitchen, making – well – toast… obviously – and the toaster went on fire. As it would.

I was standing there, holding an application form for some high powered job or other – and used it to put out the fire. This was not a wise move.

So the application form thing went on fire. Then I chucked it in the sink, or something. Then the whole place kind of filled with smoke and I didn’t really know how it was going to turn out – I was having to go down low to breathe properly, and I thought… I should maybe tell my flatmates.

That was all fine apart from the one in the shower. I wanted to get her out – but somehow didn’t want to panic her too much, in case it was a false alarm and she’d be, like, unnecessarily naked in the street. So I figured out a balance of frantic knocking on the bathroom door with a controlled squawk of urgency.

Must have done the trick, as we all survived. Even my two goldfish, Reginald and Troy, survived the smoke and lived to swim another day.

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13 thoughts on “Postaday 2011: Toastie

  1. Poor Dear! Have you thought of eating the bread cold? As in untoasted? 😉

  2. That is too funny, I really enjoyed your storytelling, I could imagine you standing there not sure about how to get your shower person out without causing too much distress. Glad about your goldfish and have you turned your back on the toaster and adopted another appliance lees apt to catching on fire?

  3. Denise Lowson on said:

    Secret desire to be a firefighter?

  4. Jo Redwood on said:

    I’d totally forgotten about you and your toaster incidents!! Hee Hee!!

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