Postaday 2011: Ten Random Shower Memories
Worst Shower: In a hostel in Calcutta in 1997. It was a tap coming out of the wall about three feet from the ground. Dodgy tiling and suspect drainage. Just waiting for a rat to surface.
Best Shower: In the home of an opera singer. I was visiting my friend who was the nanny for her daughter. Great force and power. Both the singing and the shower.
Most Confusing Shower: In a motel in Mexican Hat. We were sleeping in the Navajo Hogan adjacent to the motel – but we were given use of a room for the bathroom. I couldn’t figure out how to work the shower so gave up and stuck my head under the tap in the bath. There were nine other people waiting so I couldn’t exhaust all the possibilities of how the thing worked. Under pressure to get out.
Best Shower Substitute: Many times when camping in Ballater, I have swum in the Dee at Cambus O’May. Highly recommended. In July.
Shower Most Likely To Cause Familial Disharmony: In the early days of the electric shower, my parents had one installed. It was absolutely fine unless anyone else in the house used any water. If the other toilet was flushed, the person in the shower would be scalded then chilled with no warning or relief.
Most Popular Shower: Once, again whilst camping, I went to the local sports centre to use the showers. Unfortunately I was there along with countless Europeans who were at a orienteering convention. So many naked women, talking animatedly in various European languages. So much unsightly pale, puckered and wrinkled flesh. I am not one for nudity. Bit stressful.
Most Welcome Shower: The one I had after I had my third baby. It was a really clean, really long, really hot shower.
Strictly Come Showering: I had this flatmate once that used to say. “I am going to jump in the shower.” I used to wonder if she thought it was like diving, or ballroom dancing or something. Should I hold up a 9.5 for a full tuck and pike?
Noisiest Shower: Our current shower is good. Blasts away quite the thing. But it has a symphonic range of general squeaking and parping. Sounds like a whale is being strangled in the next room.
Most Broken Shower: Our other shower was feeble at the best of times. But last time it was used there was a smell of burnt fish emanating from the switch. Must get that fixed…